Anxiety, Overthinking and Self-Criticism

When your mind won't switch off

You might look like you’re coping. You’re getting on with work, family life and everything that needs to be done. But inside, your mind feels constantly busy.

Perhaps you worry about what might happen, replay conversations, second-guess your decisions or find yourself running through every possible outcome. Maybe you’re often thinking about what you should have done differently, or worrying that you haven't done enough.

Sometimes anxiety shows up as a need to stay in control. Sometimes it looks more like indecision, procrastination or difficulty switching off. And sometimes it is simply a persistent sense that something isn't quite right, even when you can't explain why.

You might recognise yourself here

• Your thoughts keep going, even when you desperately need a break.

• You spend a lot of time anticipating what could go wrong.

• You replay conversations and wonder whether you said the wrong thing.

• Making decisions can feel surprisingly difficult because there are so many possibilities to consider.

• You often look for reassurance but find that the doubt comes back.

• You put pressure on yourself to get things right.

• You are much more aware of your mistakes than the things you've done well.

• You find it difficult to rest without feeling that you should be doing something.

• You can be very understanding towards other people but much harder on yourself.

• You may feel exhausted by how much thinking goes on in your head.

You don't necessarily have to feel anxious all the time for these patterns to affect your life. They can become particularly noticeable during periods of uncertainty, change or increased pressure.

When coping starts to become exhausting

Overthinking and self-criticism can sometimes feel as though they are helping.

Thinking things through can feel like a way of preparing for what might happen. Checking and rechecking can provide a sense of control. Being hard on yourself can feel like a way of making sure you don't become complacent or let anyone down.

These ways of coping may have served a purpose. But sometimes the very strategies that once helped us manage difficult situations begin to take more from us than they give back.

Counselling can provide an opportunity to slow down and become curious about these patterns rather than simply trying to push them away.

How counselling can help

Therapy isn't about telling you to “stop worrying” or simply replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Instead, we can explore what is happening for you and what might be keeping you caught in the cycle.

This might involve:

• understanding the patterns behind your overthinking and self-criticism

• exploring the expectations you place on yourself

• noticing what happens when you feel uncertain, make a mistake or feel you might disappoint someone

• making more space for difficult emotions rather than immediately trying to solve or suppress them

• developing a kinder and more balanced relationship with yourself

• exploring what matters to you beneath the pressure to get everything right

• finding ways to respond differently to uncertainty and difficult thoughts

• reconnecting with your own needs, values and sense of direction.

The aim isn't to become someone who never worries or doubts themselves. It's to develop more choice in how you respond when those thoughts and feelings arise.

You don't have to know exactly what's wrong

Perhaps you've wondered whether what you're experiencing is “bad enough” to need counselling. Perhaps nothing is obviously wrong, but you're tired of feeling as though you're constantly holding everything together.

You don't need to arrive with a diagnosis or a clear explanation.

Counselling can be a place to slow things down, make sense of what is happening and begin to understand yourself differently.

If anxiety, overthinking or self-criticism are taking up more space than you'd like, therapy can offer a space to explore what's underneath them and consider what you might want to do differently.